Tug-of-War

As I continue reading Howard's book, my thoughts seem to be going in circles. I agree with Howard at some points, and other times, just cannot see his point. In this post, I will go through some of the main points he made and explain my reactions to them.

One section Howard entitles The Dynamics of Dominance. Here he explains the dominance that White people have and explains characteristics of them. The first point he makes is The Assumption of Righteousness. Howard states that White people view their own beliefs as the "right beliefs". I see this statement as part-truth; I have met many people (of all different colors, backgrounds, ethnicities) that believe their lives are right. I completely agree with Howard that some White people have an egocentric mindset, but I think it is important to note that egocentricity is not limited to Caucasians.

The next statement Howard made struck me: "As Whites, we usually don't even think of ourselves as having culture; we're simply right...This assumption of rightness has been a powerful force in the establishment of White dominance" (p. 50). I found myself relating to the first sentence. I had to take a "cultural relativity" test for another class at my school, and I found many of the questions to be slightly ridiculous. When I look in the mirror, I see "white" skin, but many of the questions that stereotyped White people, I found unrelated to myself. Many of the cultural questions I had no answer for; they didn't apply to me. After the test, I truly felt like I didn't have a culture, so I agree with the first part of Howard's first sentence. The second part of it though, and the seoncd sentence changes the entire meaning of the paragraph. When I say I do not think of myself as having a culture, I am not saying that I am more righteous than others or that I am just right and others are just wrong; I just simply do not feel a connection to my "whiteness". Howard's statement implies that White people believe themselves to be more righteous than others, but I would argue that this "Assumption of Righteousness" is not limited to people with "white" skin.

Within this section, Howard goes on to tell a story about a colleague who said, "God is colorblind." Another colleague commented in this conversation and argued that she then felt like God wouldn't see her if he didn't see color. I see both sides in this conversation. i have heard many times the statement that "God is colorblind". I have always interpreted this as meaning that God doesn't care about the color of your skin; he created you the way you are and loves you just as you are. On the other side of the coin, I can see where the second colleague is coming from. I understand that saying "God doesn't see color" can mean that God doesn't truly see you. I would note to the colleague then that all people could feel like God doesn't see them; white or black, if God doesn't see color, then I could say I feel like God doesn't see me. I believe that God doesn't see color in the sense that God loves us all the way we are; we are his children, and he created us to mirror that love to one another. I believe God does see color in the sense that God created us all differently, and loves those differences; we ought to acknowledge, accept and appreciate those differences and continue showing the love to one another.

As you can tell, my mind has been pulled in many different directions throughout this reading. I feel a tug-of-war game going on in my head, but I am confident that this struggle is beneficial for my professional development. Wrestling with these ideas will cause me to question my personal beliefs and refine my worldview. This has been a crazy adventure and I can't wait to find out what happens next.